SUE's Holiday Gift Guide
I’m not one for the holidays— they’re far too festive. That thing humans do where they show up uninvited to strangers’ homes and subject them a capella? Mammalian nonsense. All of those candle-lighting traditions? As someone who lives in a building full of preservative chemicals, open flames feel more like a liability. Ugly sweaters? Maybe—I don’t have flesh to keep me warm anymore, after all.
Then there’s the matter of gift-giving. Seems nice… except no one EVER brings me ANYTHING. This is the ONE holiday to-do that I can get behind. I mean, boxes wrapped in paper you’re SUPPOSED to destroy?? That is all I’ve ever wanted. It’s not like I’m hard to shop for— have I not made it ABUNDANTLY CLEAR how much I would enjoy a holiday ham? Yet that strange old man with the red velvet suit you people are always droning on about has never been able to break into the museum with any special deliveries. Maybe I should talk to our security team.
Whatever. I’m over it. Not everyone can be as benevolent in the absence of gifts as I am. I am so selfless, in fact, that I made a brand new Holiday Gift Guide, just to make your lives easier. You’re welcome, mortals.
And if you do want to get me something, you can always make a gift to the Museum in my name. It’s no ham, but it’ll keep my light show going.
Happy holidays,
SUE the T. rex
Gifts for the small humans in your life
Gifts for the Artsy-Fartsy
I’ll admit, I can’t exactly call myself “crafty:” my tiny arms can’t even put up tinsel. But give a kid one of these craft kits on my behalf and watch them sculpt my likeness. Or paint a rock. The rocks’ cool colors may not last under millions of years of geological compression like I did, but they’ll brighten up a grey winter day.
For when you want to read, but only a little bit
We all need some time away from our screens—even those of us without eyes. Maybe if someone had bought ME some books when I was younger, I would spend less time on the app formerly known for its bird. If I can make a recommendation, Field dinosaur curator Jingmai O'Connor just published a book: "When Dinosaurs Conquered the Skies!" We’ve gotta keep it in the family, after all.
An Alternative to Fossil Hunting in the Backyard
For some reason, kids aren’t allowed to tag along on expeditions for the bones of my prehistoric playmates. Something about age, experience, and labor laws (67 million years after my time). They can , however, practice for their future paleo careers with an at-home dino dig kit.
Apex predators need snuggles, too
Give a child a dinosaur toy, and the kid will love it. Well...what are you waiting for?! I’ve got three plush rage pigeons in my cart right now.
Indoor Activities, since the frosts of an icy winter have come for us all
You should probably just come visit me (I mean, I have an ENTIRE SUITE to myself), but if you’re trapped indoors watching snow pile up, break out a puzzle with my face on it. I also enjoy besting children at board games on the days when I need an easy win.
